Finding A Care Home

This photo was taken when we lived in Cairo. Mum taught English as a second language. This Japanese family lived in the same apartment block and they loved Mum. Despite none of them  speaking English she had an ability of communicating so naturally with people and making them understand and feel comfortable. I am taking a day holiday today and spending it with Mum. She has got to a point where whilst her understanding is good she has lost most of her ability to speak (an area that has deteriorated significantly in the last few months). That doesn’t stop her trying to chat away and due to her excellent interpersonal skills being able to still socialise so well despite her challenging circumstances.

It was my best friend, Selina who suggested I view a care home so that I could start thinking about care home living and thankfully she came with me as she was able to think of questions that I wouldn’t have thought to ask and it was nice to have a second opinion and someone who I could sound things out with afterwards.

The visit was very useful as I was able to pick up some pointers and get food for thought about next steps. It was also a wake up call that I needed as my laid back nature occasionally needs a prod!

Following Mums fall when her GP told me it was time to consider a care home it was Selina who again accompanied me in viewing some homes. We saw a range from what looked like five star hotels to drab and depressing.

Mum had the asset of her house which would have to be sold to cover the cost of the care home. Even if you take a place in an NHS home you have to use the money from the sale of the asset to cover the fee’s. Given the price between NHS and private was not a massive difference I decided a nicer private home was the way to go.

One of the homes we viewed which was five star hotel quality was beautiful in the residential section, however the dementia section was depressing in comparison. I felt that dementia patients were being treated as second rate citizens. I therefore decided to choose a home which was very pleasant and one where both the residential and dementia floors were identical. It was clear that no matter what your circumstances you were treated equally.

Both Selina and I liked the place I decided to choose. We turned up without having made an appointment and the whole process felt very natural. There wasn’t a full on sales pitch and we were also able to observe the care staff. I knew I didn’t want Mum living in London but wanted her to be within an hours drive and on the right side of Heathrow for visitors from Ireland.

I took Clive with me to view a couple of homes and he was supportive of my final decision. Selina’s Mum Margaret (who is my Mums best friend) also viewed the care homes and my Mums sister, Marie, who was visiting from Ireland also viewed the care home. Whilst it was ultimately my choice I really valued the opinion of those nearest and dearest who also have Mums best interests at heart. I wanted us all to feel comfortable with my decision.

Clive helped me with logistics of room availability and timing of the move with the care home manager. She was so impressed with how caring he was towards Mum’s situation that she assumed he was Mum’s son!

it is important to spend some valuable time getting this critical decision right so do your homework, check out reviews and feel comfortable with the decision.