Care Home Living

To say that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders after Mum moved to the care home would be an understatement! I no longer had to worry about her as I knew she was safe and in good hands 24 hours a day.

Aside from the first couple of months when I visited Mum and she would ask if I had come to take her home, Mum managed to settle quickly. She felt safe and she really enjoyed the company not only of the other residents but in particular the carers. She was a bit of a hit – being the ‘new girl’ the other residents seemed to want a piece of her.

She had been incredibly thin when she arrived. Within a couple of weeks she had gained quite a bit of weight and looked much healthier. One thing the carers always comment on is her appetite. Nothing wrong there. When I arrive to visit in the morning and ask if she has had breakfast yet, more often than not they comment on the fact she is on to her second or third breakfast! It wasn’t long before I was having to buy new trousers moving from a size 8 to size 12 quickly enough! Sometimes I wonder if she has too much of a tummy on her but better that she has a healthy appetite and can enjoy her meals given with this illness you have to make the most of the few pleasures left in life.

The same goes for having her hair done. The hairdresser visits once a week and we make sure she gets to enjoy the experience every week.

They have a lot of activities available for the residents to get involved in and visits out to local attractions which is important as Mum is still mobile so it’s good to get her out and about.

As the home takes care of everything I now have the time to enjoy my Mums company when I visit rather than racing around trying to clean the house, do the washing, the cooking and take Mum to all her various appointments as I had to do in the past.

For the first 14 months Mum lived on the residential floor. This was important to me as she was still able to interact well with others and kept her mind active. She had a lovely bedroom on the ground floor which led out on to the garden and she loved pointing out the flowers and plants on the patio which she had helped plant for herself.

After 12 months the home said it was time to move Mum to the dementia floor. She was struggling and required more specialised care. We were a little resistant at first as all believed she wasn’t yet ready, however the care home do know what they are talking about and they are observing her 24 hours a day. With hindsight they were right. She was beginning to struggle and the dementia floor was able to offer her more support for her needs. She was moved along with 3 others at the same time to make it less overwhelming for them. We chose a nice room with a view. Margaret was there for the move to ensure it went smoothly. As you can imagine such a move can be very confusing and set the person back.

I can tell the carers like Mum. She is very gentle and good natured making her an easier and more accommodating patient to deal with. She always greets everyone warmly and the best thing about visiting her is seeing her face light up when I arrive. She might not always know who I am but the recognition is still there.

I decided to go part time at work so that I can dedicate every Friday to my Mum. Initially she was able to spend a number of hours out shopping and a spot of lunch but these days a short visit out for a cup of tea is enough. Too many people is overwhelming for her and she struggles to follow conversation unless it is one-on-one. As my Mums ability to speak has significantly reduced, conversation can be a tad challenging so I tend to direct the conversation given her understanding is still good. I position us in a window when we are out so that we can watch life go by. Watching children makes her laugh and she likes it when I show her videos of dogs on instagram.

I’ll finish this chapter with a funny story of one Friday afternoon when Mum and I returned to the care home after being out for a cup of tea. Mum and I tried to get into her room and the door was locked. I asked one of the carers to unlock the door. It all seemed a bit strange that the door would be locked. When we entered the room there was an elderly man who was a resident asleep in Mums bed. It was such a comedy moment and we were all killing ourselves laughing apart from Mum, the one person who usually likes to have a laugh, not finding it in the least funny. She pulled me aside and said very seriously ‘that it wasn’t right’. She wasn’t impressed!!